What do you do when someone says they’re not sure they love you anymore?

Whetherwoman said it well, and since Ananda made it a bandwagon, I shall jump on and go for the ride. Besides, I’m late, and the ride ends at midnight. And then everything goes back to normal.

I’m queer. Feminine people are my favorite, but I’ve made exception. I’m transsexual. I’m queer in a not very threatening way, but I really enjoy making people think. I’m ¾ lesbian, and ¼ whatever it is that makes a transsexual girl with a boyish body like boys. My deepest relationships have always been with girls, since I feel like we think the same ways and have similar habits.

Friendships are far more important to me than sex.

I feel no obligation to love just one person.

I don’t stop loving someone once I’ve started. The nature of the love may change, but it never goes away.

If that’s not “out”, I don’t know what is.

I’m posting this publically and not just to my wide list of friends, because it’s not something to be ashamed of, however hard coming out can be for so many people. I dedicate this post to every brave person who has made a stand for who they are.

Surprises never cease. I just found ten tomatoes, ripening perfectly in the garden. There’s about twenty-five strawberries unripe out there, and a few strawberry flowers still. There’s pansies and calendula and borage blooming, radish pods, mustard seed and greens, broccoli, and sunflowers. I don’t believe that it’s October right now.

My family rocks. I had my birthday dinner tonight — ravioli and cake and salad and bread. It was delicious, and we hung around talking and drinking tea until eleven-thirty. They’re really quite fun to be around.

I also got two really nice gifts: a leatherman Charge, and a very good etymological dictionary.

I just had a delightful dinner with my folks and Max for my birthday. It was quiet and pleasant and delightfully intellectual in a way that only Max brings; a bit more down to earth than I tend to be when geeking.

We had barley and mushroom soup with borage in it, and bread made this afternoon, after rising all night in the refrigerator. Dad made a tomato and pepper and feta salad that was simply delicious.

Those who don’t code in XHTML will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Isn’t it amazing that this medium we all communicate through is so conducive to making things fast, fast, fast, and yet allows conversations to span days, weeks and years?

If you’re wondering why Carrie hasn’t written you…

… it might be because you haven’t written to her.

Cuddling with old friends is nice.

I’m surprised there’s a crush there. Rather pleasant, really…

I wrote a long, long letter to Carrie — but then I left my bag at home and didn’t get it in the mail in time to get there by the weekend when she gets off. Oh, well. I’ll hand it to her in person with a kiss attached.

Work is insane. I’m doing too much.

I’m reading marketing books given to me by a customer.

Oooh, if Amy and Franny are in, so am I!

Ask me 6 questions. Any six, no matter how personal, private or random. I have to answer them honestly. In turn, you must post this message in your own journal.

Which OS are You?

I suspected it might come to this. I’m PLD, damnit, but of course, we take all the good stuff from Redhat, so why not‽ Besides, RPM is still the best way to manage stuff. Even if some people screw it up.

Geek drooling here. I have a half-gigabyte in a package that weighs about five grams. Intelligent Stick, you rock.

The most frustrating thing in my life (Aside from Qwest) is that I want to make all my friends’ computers just run happily and I’m stuck here in Ridgway.

And so it’s been more than two weeks on spiro now, and I feel really good. It’s done really nice things to my skin, and my blood pressure and blood sugar have evened out. My emotional highs are a bit higher, and my lows not so low, or at least I’m taking them for what they are now, almost enjoying them for the variety rather than wallowing. I don’t know how much of it is psychosomatic and how much is placebic, but this feels really right.

Regarding the name thing. Sam still sticks in my mind. Anne as a middle name is so attractive, but it’s Carrie’s too, and that’s a little funny. I could be completely normal and adopt Elizabeth, but my sister got that one.

Is it that I am starting to react with less than my usual grace to “yessir” and my given name in print? I wince every time it happens, and I wonder if it’s visible outside my head yet. Something’s gotta give. That’s either a good thing or a really bad thing.

The only thing that truly worries me is that my voice won’t do what I need of it.

I’m done babysitting. I’m tired, and a bit cranky from lack of my usual routine and overexposure to a kid who is hyped up on my new-and-differentness. It was overall good, though. Phoenix is a good kid, especially when he has enough coffee.

I had a great talk and dinner with my brother tonight. Quesadillas with peppers and onions are among my favorite foods, and were fine by him. I feel less out of the camp loop than I did the rest of this week. That’s a relief.