I gave my parents this letter, left on my dad’s keyboard at home. We’re planning to Talk tomorrow night. I’m nervous but hopeful.

Talk didn’t happen, got my new glasses.

Wearing glasses is odd. What I see is distorted from what you see, something like this:

What you see:

What I see:

I’m told my brain will adjust shortly.

I think my parents and I are going to have a Talk today. I’m nervous, ‘cause if they didn’t just say it plainly, they’re uncomfortable about it, which means there’s just one thing it could be…

But we go for bagels, and I get my glasses. Can’t be that bad.

Contemplating why you are who you are is so much more pleasant when you’re looking at why what’s working is working than why what’s not working isn’t.

It’s a validating feeling to have three bug reports you weren’t sure were worth the bother closed at once, all resolved as “FIXED”

Phrase that most sums up my life right now:

I can’t ytpe toady.

I pick some really nice, amazing and beautiful people to sleep with.

That I have such close friends makes me feel truly at peace with the world often.

I’ve seen some crazy shit in the past eight or so years. I love what it’s taught me.

The worst day of my life is in the past. I’m pretty sure anyway.

The surest sign of what I need to work on next is what’s hard in my life.

Today was amazingly dusty after having fifty to seventy mile per hour winds much of the day. The mountains were hazy and distant, not sharp and present like usual.

I am so happy. I just ran into a woman I used to work with — she was among the best coworkers I’ve ever had — and she said to me “Something’s diff… oh! That’s what’s different? You look great! How long has this been?” I told her it had been a year. “Wow. . . that long? I never noticed… but you look great! Congratulations!”

It’s the first time someone’s noticed and said anything. Positive or negative.

Today was stunningly gorgeous. I’m waiting for a phone call, so I can throw pictures at you while I wait.

My mom just came into my office, crying. She was looking for me. She heard a page for the ambulance at my address, and the dispatcher’s voice saying “Ambulance respond to (my address) for a 24 year old, unknown injuries”. It wasn’t for me, but it scared her a lot.

We talked. For the first time in three years, we actually talked about things. I shared with her things I’d written about family and time together and how important things are to me. We ended up laughing a bit and crying a lot over how we wanted the same things, and neither of us knew how to address the gulf between us, the things we don’t understand about each other, and the things we don’t want to admit that we do understand because they’re all too familiar.

I think it scared her to hug me and find a bra strap. And to find more between us than just chest. Her daughter’s growing up again and she missed parts.

I’m in a bit of a shell-shocked state right now. The sun’s setting, and I don’t know what time it is, at least not by feel. All at once I’m hungry and not and upset and not and relaxed like it’s a huge weight off my chest, and tense about the future.

My Canon A95 camera bit the dust with an E18 error in October on my way back from San Francisco. I finally got it sent in for warranty service some months ago, and after not hearing anything, gave up on the repair being timely. Yesterday, I got a shipment notification that my camera had been repaired. Today, it arrived, and in the box, instead of finding a Canon A95, I found a refurbished A610 — the same camera, only higher resolution and with a bigger lens (and newer versions of the same firmware.)

Aside from being without a camera for three months, I’m pretty happy.

I just listened to the TMBG Podcast (feed), and I think I’m going to be hooked on this podcast thing.

Just what I needed, another distraction. Thank you soo much, elliotpp and horseygurl88

Scrambled eggs with pesto. Sauteed mushrooms. Tortilla with cheddar and provolone melted on. Topped with sour cream and copious pouring of Valentina hot sauce.

I was just reading the Wikipedia article on Grimm’s Law and realizing that I’d picked up most of the linguistic changes subconciously as I studied languages. In my head, I have an elaborate system of relating words in various languages to each other, and part of getting a ‘feel’ for a language for me is to realize how its consonant sounds relate to languages I know.