I haven’t had to work this hard to stay okay in a while. I wish I had someone to talk to right this second, but I don’t know what I’d say. Depression that hits like a ton of bricks hurts. I’m okay at the moment. I’m glad that force of habit and laziness are keeping me from doing stupid things right now.

I think it’s the heat. I hope it’s the heat, because with some effort I could probably escape the worst off it and be okay. I just want to be some place cool and dark where I don’t have to think very much, and can be distracted enough to not think about my body.

I thought I was done with this.