Dear Political Activist Groups,
Please send me emails that are in a format other than the following:
Subject: Something including the words “Victory” “success” or “win”
Dear __,
Last (period of time) we (some small political event, phrased to seem like a partisan victory).
But, we need your money.
14 paragraphs about how you can help. All of which are giving money.
Really. I’ve had enough. It was clever when MoveOn was beating the GOP with political judo, pulling in this “internet” thing and making it dance and sing, airing ads and making people wonder how the fuck they did that.
That was more than half a decade ago, folks. We’re used to it now. It’s not new. Even the most technophobic corners of the political campaigning world know how to write those emails. From now on, I’ll be filing your requests for money in this bland, uninteresting, and, frankly, disengaging form directly in /dev/null.
Sincerely,
Aria.
P.S. You suck.