Dawn’s leaving in an hour or less. I’m sad.

This image made me think of Gennie.

I woke up sad and lonely. I have been up very late entering data for taxes. I saw this morning that Carrie took me off her friends list. Ah, well. I can imagine not wanting everything your ex posts showing up when you didn’t exactly ask for it. I cried a little bit anyway.

I sent my bills yesterday, so today at work is dealing with the little administrivial stuff. I worked at the Christian Center this morning, though, which is surprisingly fun since Mary (who I worked with at the theater) is there.

Carrie called this afternoon as I was walking back. I miss her. She’s doing okay, but send your love, eh?

Many thanks to doni_dyke01 for the new user-pic.

Gnome 2.10 is pretty spiffy. The Panel is finally getting some needed TLC, though it's still far from being a Dock. There's a checkbox for "lock to panel" now, instead of the cumbersome lock and unlock menu entries for applets. There's still no usable session manager interface, though, so that's one thing that hurts badly.

I just audited 1/3 of my books for 2004. There’s six inches of powdery snow where greening grass was yesterday. Town is utterly silent in a blanket of snow at 1 am. It’s a bit magical. Goodnight.

fun with Google Maps.

I saw this and have been giggling for the last five minutes.

Dawn and I watched Kiki’s Delivery Service. Miyazaki bats five for five in my book now. There’s such delicacy and grace hidden in there. I’m not used to seeing that expressed.

I wished I’d a digital camera yesterday. The weather flipped back and forth so fast, and every change was beautiful. I woke up to heavy, black clouds hanging lower than the tops of the mountains. If I’d been a giant, I could have plucked them from the sky and eaten them like licorice cotton candy. Then, the sun came out, and the day was like May: birds calling, things coming up and beginning to bloom. The tree outside my office hasn’t leafed yet, but it looks like it wants to. A few minutes later, the temperature dropped, probably forty degrees. Snow swirled around the courtyard as I worked, big heavy, complicated flakes in complicated patterns. Not ten minutes later, I had a warm walk to the store to get lunch. Yesterday evening, it was dry, then rained while I went to pick up things from a customer, and dry while I carried them to the office. I got back to the house (Ruth’s house), and the sky went white, with wind blowing the snow horizontal. By the time I walked home again, it was warm again.

I made good progress last night on porting the dazuko library binding from Python to Ruby. It amazes me how much smaller the code gets when using the Ruby API. C with Ruby’s library and garbage collector is rather like a statically-typed PHP.

I had a big blow-up with my parents. I feel bad for it, because they are doing it out of genuine concern. Darn it all.

The similarity of some minority cultures (Queer culture I know best) and some cults is still disturbing to me.

Most cults encourage people to drop outside ties — stop calling family, stop talking to them. Let thecult be your family.

Queer culture ends up doing the same, as a last resort to stay sane for a lot of people, but I think sometimes it might be encouraged a little too soon. I’m not sure.

I’m doing okay, all considered. I did cry this morning. We both did. It’s the end of what was mostly really good. I’m glad I have such good friends: Carrie for being not only supportive but inspiring and an amazing lover the last four years, Ananda for being a friend after being an ex, and to Tessa for the same, Dawn for being great to talk to here and in person, and for being able to put aside old shit and be friends, Josh for being surprisingly good to compare notes with, Max for being understanding and not maing the last week hell, and for being graceful in the latest adaptations, Amy for inspiration to not be anything but oneself, Asa for being a constant listener and great friend over the last months, and FTMichael, Hal, Evin, Blaise, Caleb and the rest of the #YayForQueers group for being supportive and wonderful and mind-opening since I met them, and to Alex for being a great friend and listener, too.

I’m at peace. Life will go on, goodbye isn’t usually forever, and missing people is quite okay.

They just left. I’m crying.