Packages with a CanadaPost label on them always make me tremble

I’m nearly in tears for no reason at all. Hormones suck. Doubly so when not the right ones. I’m grumpy, angry and unhappy.

Dawn read this to me. I asked her for a copy.

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

and company doesn’t mean security

and you begin to learn

that kisses aren’t compromises

and presents aren’t promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of a woman or man

not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your load on today

because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down in midflight

after a while, you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and you learn

and you learn

with every failure you learn.

—Anonymous

Jem is amazing. I got to listen to her play on the guitar for a couple hours this afternoon.

Jem’s here. I really like hanging out with her.

Don’t expect me online that much. I think we’ll probably be talking…

This picture made me think of Ms. Witchbaby.

I just watched Fight Club (my second time), and it fucked with my head.

Now I feel both shitty and exhilarated at the same time.

I hate travel websites.

Amtrak’s sucks. Greyhound’s sucks. Travelocity and Orbitz suck. They all have some fatal flaw. Hire a usability specialist, people!

Random fact about Ari #121: She has a piece of pottery associated with each lover.

I know far too many people who were convinced they have mental health problems, and quite likely are just different.

I know far too many people who have mental health problems that they can’t get help for.

All too often these are the same people.

I spent the end of the afternoon today poking around the operations of a three-quarter megawatt hydroelectric generator with Ethan and Eric and my sister. It’s the oldest operating hydrogenerator in Colorado — the main turbine and generator were manufactured (in gorgeous cast iron, I might add) in 1902. They sit in a little generator shack next to the Uncompahgre river. 30 cubic feet of water per second, generating around seventeen and a half amps at 4,000 volts.

They don’t make equipment like this anymore: floating, oil-filled bearings (which need refilling with oil periodically), painted cast iron casings, heavy, gorgeous, sculpted equipment that will probably run another hundred years if kept in good working order. The newer generators aren’t nearly so interesting — sheet metal and a plastic-coated flywheel give a utilitarian but not at all grand look. The big generator has a turbine about the size of a medium-sized car, and the generator is a pancake-shaped piece about 6 feet tall, with the requisite coils set inside. It spins at about 1200 RPM, meaning that with a three-phase generator, that matches up to producing 60 hertz electricity in relatively good synchronization with the rest of the western US’ energy grid.

I could feel the magnetic field in the room. Leaving gave my muscles a much-needed relax, and my ears as well.

Good news: Taxes done.

Bad news: Owe $4,000

Good news: That’s $1000 less than I thought

Bad news: But that doesn’t include the $1000 for this quarter

Good news: I can defer the business tax until September, since I’m going for an off fiscal year

Bad news: Done a day later than I wanted to be.

Good news: GOTO 10.

Goodnight!

I can play a decent imitation of “Coin-operated Boy” on the cello. The Dresden Dolls are amazingly fun to play along to. I think when I’m not trying to coerce my brain into reading music at a good clip, I’ll be playing along there.

Vruba should do something like this. It would come out so good.