Listening to Apocalyptica always leaves me feeling a sort of emotional happy exhaustion, the way I feel physically after a long and wonderful hike.

I wish I could describe it better than that.

I don’t do this to fit in with a group.

I don’t do this to be a loner.

I don’t do this because I am uncomfortable with privilege.

I don’t do this because I am angry with my family.

I don’t do this because I have some notion that my life will be easier.

I don’t do this because I think it will make people like me more.

I let myself be myself because there is no other way for me to be.

Taopm is a synthesizer engine capable of producing some truly amazing sounds for a synth. Maybe some day string instruments will be able to be synthesized.

I’ve been listening to Godspeed You, Black Emperor, and Ethan and Eric want to get together and record stuff like that. I’m game.

Someone said “You’re a very good friend” to me today. I think that made my day.

I saw the first leaves turning this week. The sumac in the back yard has a hint of red; the cottonwoods in the creek out back have a hint of yellow. There’s a willow or two by the river turning, and the air’s become cold this week. Sleeping outdoors isn’t so attractive nor neccesary as it was a couple weeks ago.

With any luck, it’ll be a long autumn, not the two-week wonder we’ve had some years. I’d really be happy with gold leaves filling my vision for six weeks, and a long timbe before winter after that.

Yum.

¿ʇı̣ əsnqɐ ʇ,uɐɔ noʎ ɟı̣ əpoɔı̣un sı̣ pooɓ ʇɐɥʍ

Wish I could claim I had thought of it.

I’m thinking about Corvallis tonight, recounting my favorite places to eat, what things were like when I lived there. Some things never change — a friend of mine went to Nearly Normal’s tonight; the Thai place on 9th is still good; the creepy guys are still in front of Starbucks, there’s still the Japanese place on 2nd. Blue Sky’s still there, and La Conga still has burritos so addictive that they must be heroin-laced.

I think that makes me happy.

Couyld ve weosr.

I am going to miss talking to a certain someone even if she is having a blast this weekend.

Blah. Not enough hours in the morning.

I didn’t go awalk tonight, and I really should have. I don’t feel nearly so good.

This morning I’m listening to Satie and watching the day start. The sun hasn’t made it far over the mountain yet. The light is filtered through clouds, the whole day gently dappled. I’d be at the café, but they’re on vacation for another few days. I’m in love with life today.

1. Hormone fluctuations suck.
2. Long talks on the phone with wonderful people rock.
3. Extended adolescence really ain’t so bad.
4. Rain is the best weather.
5. Sleep is for when you’re dead, or your dreams more interesting than your livejournal is at 1am.

I just finished some minor renovation on The Internet Company‘s website. Not like knocking out walls renovation, but a fresh coat of paint and rewriting some text that badly needed it.