¿ʇı̣ əsnqɐ ʇ,uɐɔ noʎ ɟı̣ əpoɔı̣un sı̣ pooɓ ʇɐɥʍ

Wish I could claim I had thought of it.

I’m thinking about Corvallis tonight, recounting my favorite places to eat, what things were like when I lived there. Some things never change — a friend of mine went to Nearly Normal’s tonight; the Thai place on 9th is still good; the creepy guys are still in front of Starbucks, there’s still the Japanese place on 2nd. Blue Sky’s still there, and La Conga still has burritos so addictive that they must be heroin-laced.

I think that makes me happy.

Couyld ve weosr.

I am going to miss talking to a certain someone even if she is having a blast this weekend.

Blah. Not enough hours in the morning.

I didn’t go awalk tonight, and I really should have. I don’t feel nearly so good.

This morning I’m listening to Satie and watching the day start. The sun hasn’t made it far over the mountain yet. The light is filtered through clouds, the whole day gently dappled. I’d be at the café, but they’re on vacation for another few days. I’m in love with life today.

1. Hormone fluctuations suck.
2. Long talks on the phone with wonderful people rock.
3. Extended adolescence really ain’t so bad.
4. Rain is the best weather.
5. Sleep is for when you’re dead, or your dreams more interesting than your livejournal is at 1am.

I just finished some minor renovation on The Internet Company‘s website. Not like knocking out walls renovation, but a fresh coat of paint and rewriting some text that badly needed it.

Today was looking at pretty people walking by, and this time feeling vaguely like I’m one of them. I really am happier now. I think that I doubt myself, wondering if I delude myself, but I really am happier than I ever have been now. The valleys aren’t so black, and the peaks are more frequent. I’ve had happier moments, but not so consistently.

I stopped at every jewelry booth at the fair, looking, admiring. So much diversity this year. A few of the vendors asked about upna, and a bunch of people from town. I think that one never really loses the connection to the people here. Not really.

It surprised so many that we’d broken up. I guess we looked stable. In a lot of ways, we were. I think our friendship still is.

wolftracks asks:

1\. Would you rather feel able to confide in other people or have them feel able to confide in you?

I'd far rather have people confide in me. That's a large part of my life, and I can deal with myself other ways.

2\. Name three people who've influenced you the most over the past year. Tell us how.

1. upna is still a deep influence on me — this year in breaking up and moving apart, but she’s been an influence on me for years now. I don’t see that changing. I’ve learned about the depths of frienship and love and the details of what makes a relationship work.
2. rising_dawn — I’ve learned how old friendships change and grow.
3. raijna for teaching me how much everything I thought was neccesary in a relationship was wrong.

3. If you could pick a single thing to have an astounding aptitude— just absolute genius— for what would it be?

It would be for listening so that people could understand themselves.

4\. What's the last thing you checked out of the library?

Oddly enough, it's been over a year. There was a baking book perhaps more recently, but I've been reading books entirely purchased lately, so I have my complete lesiure to read them.

5\. If you had to consistently and regularly practice one mainstream religion for the whole of your life, which one would you choose? Why?

I think I would probably end up Catholic. The huge, long, deep, all-encompassing tradition speaks very deeply to me. I love and feel deeply a connection to cathedrals and old churches.

noam_rion asks:

1\. You must leave the area where you live and never return. What will you miss most? Will you take anything to help you remember?

I will miss the way the clouds lie on the hills the most. Cool mornings and afternoons, and the light filtering through the grey mist. I'll take only memories, but forever seek that feeling.

2\. What have you learned from the mountains? How does it affect your daily life?

They are the silent guardians. They are a boundary, but not a jail. They're everpresent, and they remind me that it's always possible to look up to something beautful and bigger than oneself.

3\. You can either get good spices or good vegetables. Which?

Vegetables. No question there.

4\. What book (or a few) do you most wish other people to read?

There's none that I can say generally. Every connection I have with people is different, and the books I'd reccomend would be just as personal as that connection. To you, noam_rion, I'd reccomend “The Care of the Soul”, by Thomas Moore.

5\. You're stuck with a lot of customers who don't get it, aren't interested in understanding, and won't listen. They want you to make things go, but won't explain (and don't even really know) their requirements. You can't get rid of them without your business going under. (Either there aren't enough other people to replace them so you'll lack income, or they're vindictive and will see that you go down if they feel treated badly.) How do you deal with it?

I'll slowly move into another business with people who suck less. Specialize elsewhere. Seek perfect customers and eventually bail on the others. The act of doing that would free up what remained of my patience, and things would go more smoothly until I got out.

6\. What emotion don't express well/as much as you'd like? In which situations do you not express it? Why?

I think I express everything I feel pretty well now. I don't feel nor express anger at all often, though that doesn't surprise nor bother me anymore.

I’d love to ask anyone who wants questions. Leave a comment and I shall.

Breathe slowly for a moment. Don’t struggle, but be as slow as you can. Walk, breathing evenly to where you want to go. There is no hurry. Take off your shoes.

Stand in the center of a group of growing things. Look to the west and see the setting moon. Remember its shape, where it rests over the hills and watch where its rays reach the earth. Trace from the far hilltop what the shadows there are like — trees, grass, the hills themselves cast shadows toward you. Let your mind run closer to you, tracing from light to shadows and back again as you go. Notice the colors and shapes of things in the moonlight.

Notice the light reaching your body. See how it falls across your skin and clothes. Trace it downward to your bare feet. Let yourself feel the ground under your feet. Let yourself notice the lumps and the texture and the plants underneath.

Stretch downward and let yourself imagine stretching into the dirt, hands and feet growing roots, twisting around the roots of the plants already there, gently finding your own path into the soil. Feel the moisture of the earth, the cool after the warmth of the day.

Look sideways, and feel the plants around you growing upward, reaching for the sky. Slowly stand again, tracing an arc with your fingers along the stems of those plants, and continue them upward until you’ve traced to their destination far above. Reach upward, and feel even your roots straining skyward.

Slowly turn around. The sky is turning past you overhead, from the horizon, to above you, to behind. The earth is turning the opposite, carrying you forward with it. Embrace what is coming.

Again, notice your feet and what you’re standing on. Slowly move and get ready to walk back to where you came. Keep breathing evenly as you do.

function require(url) { var a = new XMLHttpRequest(); a.open("GET", url, false); a.send(null); eval(a.responseText); }

Allowing it to be loaded asynchronously would be nicer, but it doesn’t match the simplicity of Ruby’s require nearly so neatly then.

I see a lot of XMLHttpRequest code that makes a function that handles the request differently for each implementation. Instead, why not just make Internet Explorer behave like the rest? Like so:

if(!window.XMLHttpRequest) { try { var t = new ActiveXObject('Microsoft.XMLHTTP'); XMLHttpRequest = function() { return new ActiveXObject('Microsoft.XMLHTTP'); } } catch(e) { var t = new ActiveXObject('Msxml2.XMLHTTP'); XMLHttpRequest = function() { return new ActiveXObject('Msxml2.XMLHTTP'); } } }

If anyone can think of a more kosher way to see which ActiveX objects are instantiable, I’d love to see it, but this code isn’t too inefficient, and you can just write code for the four good browsers and pretend the fifth, evil browser is the same.